The word “customer” is a bad word for me now. I’m being totally serious. People in non-service jobs say things about “making the customer happy,” and all I can think is Screw customers. Why should anyone do anything for them? They’re all douches!

Then I have to step back and think that maybe the customers these people are dealing with aren’t all douchebags. They probably are, though. I honestly have a hard time imaging customers as nice people whom I’d want to work hard for. They’re just a bunch of entitlement-minded jerks to me now. I think at this point, I’d go out of my way to harm customers, as long as I wasn’t endangering my job. But then I’m a bitter, hateful person. Oh well, at least I have the comic, and that’s something. If only all the customers in the world would read it and think, “By george, that’s me the comic’s about! I should change my ways and be a nice person from now on!”

If only.