As a change of pace, I’ll write about positive things about working retail. IN LIST FORM! YEAH!

1. The coworkers I liked.

2. Taking extra long breaks with those coworkers, either by not bothering to clock, or clocking back in and going back to the break room.

3. Sitting in the “team center” on the computer, stretching some menial task into at least an hour off the sales floor.

4. Driving the forklift. OH MAN IS THAT EVER AWESOME.

5. General screwing around and not working.

6. Stacking a perfectly square skid. Only happened once, with lots of board games. I was proud.

7. Showing angry customers that they were, indeed, wrong.

That’s it, but there’s a small story with #7.

Customer: “Hi, where are the padlocks?”

Apathy: “In the last aisle of hardware, near the back.”

Customer: *snottily* “No they aren’t. I was just there.”

Apathy, knowing full well that they are there: *smiling* “Ok, let’s go look.”

Oh, they were there. In plain damn sight, like I knew they would be.

Customer: “Oh… I must have missed them.”

Apathy, in his head: Damn right you did, douchebag. Don’t bother asking me anything again if you’re not going to believe the answer I give you. “Yep.”